Wednesday, Aug. 05, 2009 12:05 a.m.

老友. haven't heard this for so long... that's how dad and brother used to call each other. maybe dad also called me that.. i'm not sure. usually he called me 豬蛋. it's just an affectionate way to call me, like i used to call him 爸爸豬.

when sitting among the crowd he never talked much, and he's got a little temper. every weekend he would 尋幽探秘 and take photos on his own. in this respect i am very much like him. after all, both of us were born in the year of the ox.

記得李小龍死忌便記得父親的生日。on 20th july i was so busy with work that i had forgot dad's birthday. gotta visit him sometime later... the cemetery is near to kwun tong. how old should he be? 24+36=60. 60! i can't believe it! 60... sounds really old to me. would he have a single black hair left if he's still alive? would he be proud or ashamed of me? half-half? or more sorry rather than ashamed? if it wasn't his untimely death maybe he would still be teaching, or enjoying his life after retirement. i would have gone on more boat trips with him and we could take photos of flowers and insects together. i bet he would love totoro and daikon like we do.

i've been so preoccupied these 5 years that i've got a bit lost. i tried so hard to prove that i could be good even if i didn't choose BBA or law or anything else they wanted me to choose. so occupied with jongwork, school work, freelance and so many other things that i broke down for n times.

of course i'm still like that until now. exams work reading and freelance altogether. not because i want to prove anything anymore, but during the last days of my 23rd year, for the first time i have a genuine feeling that i am no longer young. i am still young, but not THAT young. life is really short and i have to strive for what i want before i have the chance to fail.

but as life is short and people slip by so easily, i will take a little time to remember dad around these 2 weeks.

it's your favourite pair of 對聯. i can only remember the first sentence of both 聯s (sorry i dunno the english). you wasted many pieces of A4 paper to try out using different font types for it -_-"

五百里滇池，奔來眼底。披襟岸幘，喜茫茫空闊無邊！看東驤神駿，西翥靈儀，北走蜿蜒，南翔縞素。高人韵士，何妨選勝登臨。趁蟹嶼螺州，梳裹就風鬟霧鬢；更蘋天葦地，點綴些翠羽丹霞。莫孤負四周香稻，萬頃晴沙，九夏芙蓉，三春楊柳；　

數千年往事，注到心頭。把酒淩虛，嘆滾滾英雄誰在？想漢習樓船，唐標鐵柱，宋揮玉斧，元跨革囊。偉烈豐功，費盡移山心力。盡珠簾畫棟，卷不及暮雨朝雲；便斷碣殘碑，都付與蒼烟落照。只贏得幾杵疏鍾，半江漁火，兩行秋雁，一枕清霜。

my chinese can never be half as good as dad's... i can never write with such 力度 and certainty. i may be inchy and cool to many, but i know that i am much more 婆媽 then i seem.

have spent too much time on this entry... guess i should really write seriously about dad and our family one day before my memory fades completely.