Wednesday, Mar. 11, 2009 10:18 p.m.
多得candy，終於bind左本portfolio。可以改善既地方實在太多，但係冇時間亦都chur盡晒元氣，呢兩日較左鬧鐘都起唔到身就係證明。聽日interview但係而家仲打緊diary... 真係好辛苦。點寫呢篇文...... boss has spent hours trying to talk me out of it. i'm grateful for what he said to me. ngor dou ji yau ho doh politics and i'm no good at that... well i can be fake but i can never fake dou 1 goh extend hai hor yi make myself enjoy socializing. yes undoubtedly it's an ugly game... sometimes it's more about how close you can get to the core of power rather than your level of ability. look at the showbiz and tony leung and damien hirst... so why do u have to 燈蛾撲火 given your ability and intelligence? u could have done an mba and have a bright promising future. don't let your mum down. and i want my staff to do their very best. no one should go to chicken schools. sometimes the answer to this question... why do i have to insist? it's a long process of struggling against parents' expectation. i can't take it as a hobby. i mean i enjoy it as a hobby, but i have to make something out of it or else i'll regret. i know my work lacks energy and passion. all the things look nice but there is something wrong. it has something to do with personality i guess. a kuet hum or flaw or inability... the inability to feel and the lack of compassion or passion probably from too much suppression. 23 is a difficult age don't you think? too young to know yourself and the world well, but too old to risk your life. once you get on to 24 there's no way back... you stick to that path until you die or struck by some life-transforming miracles. - always feeling hungry... always ho chi mo sik gwor yeh. can't recall what i've eaten these days. no time for breakfast and proper lunch. always buns and soy milk. always OT always need to work or go out to do shopping during lunch. suddenly everything seems so meaningless... no incentive to ride bike or go to movies or sik yeh or do anything else anymore coz there's no one to expect. it's something i call conditional loneliness... the idea is when you have someone to expect, you can stand being lonely for you know it's transient. once you have nothing to expect, you are truly alone and everything you do is so ji bai or tram-man-ish. good that at least i have a job to keep myself occupied and connected to the society. it's even better that sara and fiona are back. we are all leos. - add oil wa. charng jue until the end of interview... make it ho ho tai tai please. if u wanna collapse please do if after thursday... |