Monday, May. 10, 2010 12:23 a.m.

Homepage update (see "postcard" section)

For those who would like to buy my postcards, now you can get them at the following locations:

Original Tai O Store
大澳石仔埗街76號（茶果財對面，郵局附近）
76 Shek Tsai Po Street, Tai O, Hong Kon g (opposite to Cha Gwo Choi / near to post office)
Tel: 6349 2262
(Sat, Sun and Public Holidays)

THINK Cafe
銅鑼灣駱克道491-499號京都廣場19樓B舖（right opposite to MTR exit C）
Shop B, 19/F, Kyoto Plaza, 491-499 Lockhart Rd, Causeway Bay, Hong Kong
Tel: 2155 9677 (Mon-Sun)

Solo Cafe 蘇廬
大澳吉慶街86號地下（近新基大橋）
86 Kat Hing St, G/F,
Tai O, Lantau Island, Hong Kong (near to Sun Kei Bridge)
Tel: 9153 7453 (Mon-Sun)

mother's day.
invited mum for breakfast this morning. it was nice despite that i still felt awkward.

it's raining hard tonight. i'm spending the night alone on the island, thighs sticky with sweat. i can imagine mum with tears all over her face as she watched 星光大道 on TV...

i am too tired to do any brainstorming for the freelance job tonight. must be the cycle again... sleep was so deep that i felt painful. could almost feel myself sinking into the mattress and that 不能自拔 feeling was terrible... always on the verge of waking but the body was so weak and heavy that i thought i could never get up again.

will i get lost on the other side and never come back again one day?

一增重便覺得自己面目可憎以致情緒低落，於是趁黑夜之便從葵興的家半跑半走到荃灣海傍去。我向來是不跑步的人，但那天晚上想跑，覺得只有跑才可以釋放那陰暗的情緒。從碼頭跑到麗城，原路折返至碼頭，然後再繼續跑到青荃橋底。我是連100米都應付不了的人，昨晚竟然義無反顧地跑了這段路，體能出乎意料地好，是因為像馬拉松跑手般找到自己的節奏嗎？其實5月初因為記錯睇戲地點而從科學館飛奔到太空館的那一次，我已經對自己沒有斷氣大感意外。

對上一次覺得體能不尋常地好是中六左右。在學校indoor gym上PE堂，分組接力跑，輪到我接棒，跑到轉彎位的時候，覺得關節的活動方式與順暢道跟以往任何一次都不同，速度快得連自己都無法相信。在那短短的一圈路程中，前所未有的速度使重量感消失，那是一種類似昇華的體驗。跑完那一棒，一位組員說我跑得很快，那是人生中唯一一次有人對我這麼說。

對，我正為了這種小事大做文章，make a big fuss out of nothing...

（我剛剛抬頭的時候，看到閃電－－是維持了兩秒、像照片所描述的那種zigzag型白色光線，lineweight很粗，天空在兩秒間被染成紫色）

狂風暴雨，媽在想我吧？

其實我也擔心，說的不是雷雨，是前路。面試後我不過興奮了不到兩小時，因為知道經濟困難，對自己也沒有很大信心。也怕自己不在的時候，媽會發生甚麼意外，或者一年後見不到祖母。

小學時覺得自己活不過16歲，大學時覺得活不過24歲，但最後還是渾渾噩噩來到今天。又一個難以翻越的山頭。面試前後我都在想，究竟所謂的心願或者夢想，有沒有我想像中重要？會這樣想，是代表我正嘗試逃避吧？抑或我所懼怕的，不是痛苦的攀山過程本身，而是怕看不見山後的風景？

by the way，面試官不斷強調you will meet nice people there讓我差點要哼起Scott McKenzie的San Francisco來：If you're going to San Francisco, you're gonna meet some gentle people there...

地方的記憶

幾歲大時在茶果伯檔前PK擦傷手背的輕微痺痛。手背擦過灰色石屎地的觸感。手背一點一點乾乾的紅血印。

踩單車越過公廁前的上斜路口，那一下總會幻想自己會像ET一樣就此飛上天。

騎單車穿越黑夜中的大壆，眼要睜大像貓，整個身體保持靜靜的平衡，一心一意向前方看不見的盡頭移動，像某種儀式。幻想這是Tron的電單車追逐場面，或者千與千尋中劃破海面的火車。

大地的微妙形狀與觸感。

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rufus wainwright's singing can sound annoying and boring if you listen to it for too long.