Friday, Nov. 06, 2009 12:10 a.m.

after almost one year the agent called again. she said there would be a lecture on writing study proposals as well as an interview. what am i gonna write!? what am i gonna show them!?

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while waiting for her colleague to get what i wanted, the salesgirl asked me whether we could chat a little. i said yes and she said she's really sick and exhausted (she's wearing a face mask). i told her i also had to work 6 days a week and OT on all 6 days, but i was going to quit soon.

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about the sea.

i have recurring dreams. it's always about water - either overlooking the coast from high or the scene of a flooded village, or climbing up and down hills looking for the sea.

i feel uncomfortable living in a place without the sea. there are many river cities in england. when i was in stock-on-tees, i spent the whole afternoon walking along the river. there's nothing there, but i had to see what's before or after it. if i arrive at one spot along the river, i feel that i have to find out the beginning and the end of it. if there is no river it would be even more terrible - the land has no end and there is no direction. the sea marks the end of the land.

She can walk out anytime, anytime she wants to walk out, that's fine,
She can walk out anytime, anytime she feels that life has passed her by,
And when I start my new life I won't touch the ground,
I'm gonna try hard this time not to touch the ground.

He can walk out anytime, anytime he wants to walk out, that's fine,
He can walk out anytime, across the sand, into the sea, into the brine,
And when I start my new life I won't touch the ground,
I1m gonna try hard this time not to touch the ground.

So we sold the car and quit the job
and shook some hands and wiped the make-up right off,
And we said our good-byes to the bank
left Seven Sisters for a room in a seaside shack,
And when I start my new life I won't touch the ground,
I'm gonna try hard this time not to touch the ground

it's by the sea we'll breed
into the sea we'll bleed...