Sunday, Jun. 07, 2009 11:50 a.m.

went to the public review yesterday. managed to catch up with the last 2 crits. either because of their mumble-jumble / my poor listening ability / my standing too far away, i could only hear 20% of the discussion. when it's finished sister ho began to "park" all the lights off and swept everyone out of the studio, so i couldn't take many photos. wait until degree show la... every project seems fresh and unique this year. the dean and the students should be glad.

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fed up and lost again.
want to live slowly and not force myself to catch up with all kinds of 資訊 including exhibitions and movies just because of the fear for lagging behind.

why should i know the latest brand colour of prada? why should i look at the LV exhibition when i know not more than ten names of hong kong artists? why should i live up to others' expectation? what's wrong if i can't?

but no matter how tired i am, i know i wouldn't want to miss the degree show coz that's not what a "上進" person would do. we are all supposed (actually who suppose that? is it our parents? our peers? or we ourselves?) to get actively involved in every thing. 終身學習持續進修. why? coz u can't live at your own pace in this society. if you're one step behind, you are dead. nobody cares why you live that way. why you choose to hea. they just think you should live the way they think they should.

omg sometimes i think this world is so hypocritic. and we are all so narrow-minded. this so-called "理性討論"風氣 is making me sick. the worst part is that i am not any better. i am hypocritic and narrow-minded.

chi jor sin. i just want to spend one afternoon reading under tsing ma bridge. this is my 卑微 little wish.

on friday night i kept working in office after the whole team had left. i explained to them that i had fire that night. that's one reason. i had fun with cad that night and that's true. but other than that, i know i had no where to go. i just wanted peace. silence.