Monday, Dec. 18, 2006 1:01 a.m.

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sometimes i thought i was the happiest person on earth. and karbi said i became less poignant less mean after i got together with you. when i went out on the street alone, when i was having a shower, when i was travelling, when i was going to sleep at night... i felt a sense of security that i had never had before. i treasured your presence and thanked you for being there everytime i realized u're with me. i was no longer alone on earth, swimming in my own little fishbowl.

the accumulated happiness is way bigger than the pain. who on earth would be so stupid to choose to erase all the lovely memories?

i thought we would have sufficient love to get us through this year-out tim. turn out dou overcome ng dou this gap between us... and nobody can blame anyone for that. and nobody, not even you can control your feelings. and i understand that...

it doesn't mean i don't deserve to be loved right? it's probably just not the right time and space. and if we are destined to be together, we will get together somehow, sometime. but probably not now.

i'll try to be good. i promise you. cry less, and rely on myself more. have more confidence and learn to grow up.

but then, i still love and i need a friend like you. will u let me in? will u let me understand you?

just before we got together, i put the lyrics below in my icq info. and u said u liked it. probably u can't remember ba. anyway it's exactly how i feel now.

be my angel
They say it's me,
That makes you do things
You might not have done,
If I was away
And that's it's me,
That likes to talk to you
And watches you,
As you walk away
Don't say it's useless,
Don't say forget it
Don't bring me wishes,
Of silly dreams
Just say it's all,
From too much freedom
Too many fingers,
And to anything
They say it's you,
That washes the weary
And brings the night into the day
If you won't notice,
How can I show you
All of you worries,
Have all gone away
Don't leave me lonely,
Don't leave me unhappy
Just bring me up into your fate
If you don't need me,
Then don't deceive me
Letting my freedom turn into stone
Just be my angel,

If you love me
Be my angel,
In the night
Be my angel,
'Cause you need me
Be my angel,
And treat me right

Don't say you love me,
If you don't need me
Don't send me roses,
On your behalf
Just take me down,
And walk through your river
Down the middle,
And make it last
Holding on to you,
Holding on to me
Holding on tight,
'Till my love is crossed
Don't say it's useless,
And don't say forget it
You are my spirit,
Now you are gone