Saturday, Aug. 14, 2004 1:50 a.m.

19 years old lu. happy birthday to myself*

originally i thought i would have an ever so happy birthday as i finally finished AL+got satisfactory results+yup dou hku archi, but then d larn gwai university stuff/all those scoldings/tight schedule make me a little bit unhappy.

you know i enjoy walking around, enjoying life on my own. i need a lot of personal space. it seems that after entering the university, life will not be in my own hands anymore, and i have to deal with a lot of petty stuff.

i'm starting to miss the simple secondary school life, when i just had to pass exams or maybe deal with a few school activities, when i had plenty of time watching the cars running along the Gascoigne Road. they all say that archi students have to spend their nights in the studio coz it's impossible to finish the work. it's hard for me to imagine a life without any time and space for idling and self-reflection. that's why i don't like going camping with a lot of people. i don't like group activities.

i guess life will become harder and harder. at this moment i'm feeling reluctant. i want to cling on to the past and not leave my old friends. suddenly gok duc �ͦs�n�Y�O. but i hope that i can adapt to the new life and grow into a stronger, wiser person.

claudie, pauly, kry and irene celebrated my 19th birthday with me at �©� this afternoon. emily couldn't come because she had to meet her relatives. thank you very much for remembering my birthday. thanks a lot for you love and care throughout all these years! thanks for the little paper pinhole camera. thanks for rocha and pauly's pretty blue fish watch. thanks for irene's cake. thanks for �©�'s �ͤ�q/MV. thanks for all the phone calls and sms. thanks for the icq and board msgs. last but not least, i have to thank my parents. i know i owe you a lot.

i am disappointed by some people also, especially those to whom i have devoted a lot. i guess i can't care too much. they have their own life and priority.

after the birthday lunch, i went to mongkok to have the hep B vaccination (is that the right word? but you know what i mean) my left arm is still numb. whenenver i try to put up my arm i feel a bit painful. and when i opened my room door this morning, the door scratched my left foot and i felt awfully painful. the wound didn't bleed though. but it took me some time to put my foot into the shoe and i have to walk barefooted at home.