Saturday, Dec. 20, 2003 10:30 a.m.

A Time for Everything (Ecclesiastes 3:1-15)

1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

2 a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

3 a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

4 a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

5 a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

6 a time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

7 a time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

8 a time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

9 What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboreth?

10 I have seen the travail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it.

11 He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.

12 I know that there is no good in them, but for a man to rejoice, and to do good in his life.

13 And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labor, it is the gift of God.

14 I know that, whatsoever God doeth, it shall be for ever: nothing can be put to it, nor any thing taken from it: and God doeth it, that men should fear before him.

15 That which hath been is now; and that which is to be hath already been; and God requireth that which is past.

after the mini bazaar i was very tired and i went to bed at 9pm. i slowly fell asleep when listening to Massive Attack's "teardrop". i was awaken when dad came back. i thought i had a shallow sleep for a while, and i was waken up by the phone again. the call was from the hospital. they couldn't measure grandma's blood pressure. mum and dad calmly discussed the issue. they thought grandma wouldn't live much longer. at around 11pm the phone rang again. this time they said grandma had passed away. mum was calm at first, but when she phoned her sister ie my aunt and told her about grandma's death, she cried. i listened to everything they said and my tears kept rolling down. mum thought she should go to the hospital as uncle had gone to shenzhen. if she didn't go, nobody will go. what dad said was horrible to me. he said, "�h�����Aah, �i���믫ť�鰵����n��.." when mum cried he said "�ڳ������Ageh, �n�ۧA�ۤv�ۨ��." at that time i had a thought that my cold-bloodedness was inherited from him. it must be. how could he say something like this? i was horrified by my own origin of cold-bloodedness.

around 11:30pm they switched off the light and went to bed, and i didn't know when i fell asleep. the sleep wasn't long and deep. i woke up at idunnowhat time. maybe it was too cold. i heard a woman's voice. it was my mum. well... i wasn't sure what happened.. and it's better not to talk about it here. it's so weird.

i was waken up early in the morning. i couldn't sleep well these few days. whenever i nearly fell asleep i would be waken up by their loud voice. i'm dying for a long and deep sleep.

i have other things to write about. let's write about them later.

and grandma, may you rest in peace.