Wednesday, Jul. 30, 2003 10:41 p.m.

hey chiubi, yuen loi kui d diary jun hai... dim guy ngor yuen chuen ng interested in someone else's life?

went to visit my grandma this afternoon. she couldn't recognize me. mum told her who i was, then she said in �Ȯa��: "ʱjor gum doh geh?" she was very thin. much thinner than when i was small. mum said she didn't eat much and she suffered from backache all the time.

i dunno what to do. i have so little �P�� towards her. when i was small i could understand part of what she said, but now i couldn't understand her �Ȯa�� at all. when she asked mum who i was i felt so shameful.

yau hai li goh problem lark. ngor dui ho doh yun dou mo mud �P��. cold-blooded helen. yi ga jung identify doh 1 goh problem. it's that i can't ENJOY. when a big group of ppl are playing and rejoicing, i would try to describe the scene in words in my mind. jik hai ngor ng hor yi forget everything hui enjoy, yi hai wui ho chi goh outsider/observer gum lor. ho mo yun ar gum yeung.

just think when i go out with my future bf. i can't ���� from myself and observe the whole thing as an outsider right? i can't analyse everything and try to put it in words! it's just not ok! when will i learn to forget myself and enjoy?

after visiting grandma hui JA meeting. i was late. goh goh ernest goh yeung yau d sui, rosita ar, let's abuse him! beat him up! haha~

gum goh meeting yau d dead air gum wor... paul ho chi yau d bored. ngor goh latte yau ging bitter gum...

now we've decided to use my design. but gwor yau d technical problem wor... coz yuen loi goh logo yiu include mai "a JA company". so i have to modify the design.

after goh meeting tung stephanie and vincent sik yeh. ngor tung stephanie mei sik dinner ar. stephanie hai 1 d bak chi~ ha~

tomorrow �X�� with henry and adrian and dad. so happy

gun jue saturday to monday yau wui hui tai o with brian and rosita wor. happy again!