Sunday, Feb. 01, 2015 11:58 p.m.
After several days of silent struggle, Grandma passed away around 9:58pm on 30/1/2015, when MaD 2015 opening was about to finish. I don't know how I am ever to revisit the video footage we took of her and her domestic helper a couple of months ago, and a Tai O without her. I need to imagine and try to adjust myself. What does her death mean? How do I fit in this puzzle of blood relations? What can and what should I do? On the same night, siu chi wai (the second one) was lost in the backstage. on 31/1, a Mainland Chinese participant said he would shoot me dead (槍斃 in Putonghua) if he could. The forum is now over, and I feel numb. I should cry a good cry (which I haven't had time and energy for), visit Oliver's little burger shop and walk a good walk. I don't know how I should feel. Shouted at too many strangers for two days (and therefore got a sore throat). It's time for the world to leave me alone, to give me that much needed space to reorganize myself. |